As part of my Body Type Nutrition course, I have access to a lot of interesting blogs. This one was written by Troy Martin, 5 REASONS YOU DON’T NEED A COACH.
*Disclaimer: expect sarcasm.
When I sat down to write this blog… Actually I stand at my desk but you get the picture…
When I stood to write this blog I was intending it to be a serious piece with lots of references and stuff about accountability, the stages of change and some home truths about why you need a kick up the arse (that’s old school for emotional reinforcement).
But, then I thought that stuff has been written about before and the fact is that if you haven’t considered a coach to this point then you probably won’t get one on the back of reading a bunch of technical jargon. So, here’s 5 reasons that you don’t need a coach
1. YOU ALREADY KNOW IT ALL
What’s the point in getting a coach, they’ll only tell you what you already know, right? You have seen all those documentaries on Netflix and you’ve read a bunch of books including The Primal Blueprint and some really sciencey sounding stuff by Gary Taubes.
Or perhaps you follow Alan Aragon, Lyle Macdonald or that other bloke, I think his first name is Ben? That’s great because it’s not like they have utterly conflicting views on everything and there’s zero chance of you getting confused.
Anyway, you already know so much you could be a nutritionist yourself. A nutritionist who is no closer to reaching their goals now than you were 5 years ago, but that’s not your fault, it’s just that you don’t have time, you can’t afford to bulk buy, you get in from work so tired that you don’t have the energy to hit the gym and you’ve got 3 episodes of the latest TV drama waiting for you to catch up on Sky+. But that’s ok because you know what you’re doing.
2. YOUR MATE DAVE HAS DONE YOU A MEAL PLAN
Yeah, Dave’s pretty buff he knows his stuff and it worked for him so it will definitely work for you because that’s exactly how nutrition works. The fact that it is really restrictive and confusing and you’re not sure what it means when it says no carbs after 6… 6 what?
Scoops of ice cream? Ah, that’s alright you only had 5 scoops so that means you can have that bag of chocolate buttons while watching those three episodes of your Favourite show.
Dave’s plan calls for 6 meals a-day because it keeps your metabolism high and burns more fat and you can’t have fat and carbs in the same meal which means that you can’t eat ice cream. Oh wait…
You have to have 30g of protein at each meal but that’s OK, there’s protein in oats, right?
Yeah, Dave’s the man he does, like 100 bicep curls a-day!
3. YOU ONLY NEED TO CUT OUT SUGAR
Yeah, that bloke on the telly said sugar is bad and there was an article about it in that trusted nutrition journal, it was on the same day as that article about the celebrity with no knickers and the fake story about immigrants lacing tins of tuna with mind control drugs.
Anyway, sugar is bad, all the important people say so and Gwyneth Paltrow sweetens her ayervedic tea with the urine of South American squirrel monkeys and she’s way slim.
Yeah, so all you need to do is cut out all the sugar. So no sweets, cakes, biscuits, breakfast cereals, fizzy drinks, fruit juice, baked beans (because they have loads of added sugar an’ all) oh and fruit, no fruit because, you know… Sugar!
That’s OK, I’ll just put loads of honey on everything instead, honey comes from bees so that’s natural, Gwyneth Paltrow said so.
4. YOU JUST NEED TO CUT OUT ALL THE FAT
Fat makes you fat obvs! It’s called FAT, what more do you need to know?
Fat also makes your heart really unhealthy which is why you don’t eat bacon, beef, lamb, shellfish, full fat dairy, more than 2 eggs and only have ice cream with fruit flavors because that’s one of your 5-a-day.
You use vegetable oil for cooking, spread margarine on your granary toast, have light crisps instead of pringles, drink vodka because those calories don’t count and you have fruit ‘n’ fibre for breakfast because your doctor said your cholesterol is high.
Thank god for avocados, eh?
Of course, you have all the low fat options when you eat and the family sized bar of chocolate, the take away pizza and the Friday night curry don’t count because you’ve been really low fat all week.
Yeah, this definitely works for you.
“A good coach is more than someone who tells you what to eat” Tweet
5. YOU CAN SAVE A BUNCH OF MONEY BY NOT
INVESTING IN A COACH
Why pay for a coach to help you define and understand your goals, to create a method of control that suits those goals and your lifestyle, that doesn’t feel overly restrictive and actually gets results when you use that money to pay for a big night out each Saturday?
You get to eat what you want, when you want, you don’t go to the gym regularly so you have extra time to waste by scrolling through your social media feed looking for more distractions and you get to passive aggressively judge anyone who is actually doing everything you’re not and getting the results you’re not.
Yeah, you’re definitely much better off keeping that money and saving the energy you would waste on investing your time, energy and emotion into improving your health by doing it your way.
So, you’ve fallen off the wagon again but that’s alright there was a reason for that, you can’t remember it right now but you’re certain it wasn’t a conscious choice on your behalf to give up.
You’ll start again soon, when you can be bothered… Ooh look Kerry’s just posted a picture of her cat hanging from the curtain!
IS IT TIME TO REASSESS?
The fact of the matter is that you absolutely DON’T have to have a coach to get results but if you aren’t getting results or your results are inconsistent then clearly something needs to change. What a good coach can do for you is to cut out the wheat from the chaff by educating you and empowering you with the knowledge to be the best version of you that you can possibly be.
A good coach won’t just give you a meal plan and a shopping list and off you go because there’s no behaviour change involved in that, no education and no accountability. The coach can’t do it for you.
But, the coach will be there with you every step along the way, to congratulate you when you forget to congratulate yourself, to pick you up when you have a wobble. A good coach is more than someone who tells you what to eat or how to train they are a teacher, a friend, a confidant and motiivator.
All of my colleagues have had their own journey, their own ups and downs and have the evidence based education needed to not only give you what you need but to relate to your problems. We may be coaches, but we’re also human beings.
Now, if only you knew where to find said coach. I’ll just leave this here…
Until next time, stay peachy my friends.